Overcoming Disagreements wk 5

My son Ryley is 7 and in second grade. He was diagnosed with ADHD in kindergarten.  Even with medicine for his ADHD, he still struggles with sitting still. His test scores shows him being two years ahead of his classmates. I always question how much of his behavior is ADHD and how much is it because he is bored.   His teachers typically push for more and more medicine so he will sit still and quiet at school. I hate to have him on so high of a dose that he is zombified.  His teacher this year had him test for giftiness, and he qualified for the program for math and reading.  He has a gifted teacher that works with him on Mondays.  I thought things were going well, and excited to not have to have his medicine constantly adjusted. 

Parent-teacher conferences were this past week. His general education teacher said that he was acting out again and suggested to have his medicine readjusted. His gifted teacher said that she had no problems with him at all and is amazed at how he persists at a problem. I asked his gen ed teacher if he was being challenged enough. I did not mean for it to be condescending, but I think that is how she took it. She started to defend herself. I apologized, and stated that I think he gets bored because the work is too easy and he acts out.  The conference did not end well.

After a few days I emailed her an apology and tried to explain that I understood he was a challenging student to deal with. I also explained about how I did not think that constantly upping his medicine was a good idea as he does not learn how to control his impulses this way. I brought up how the gifted teacher says that she does not see those behaviors when she has him and suggested if there was a way for the two of them to collaborate and to have more challenging work on hand for Ryley to do when he finishes his regular work. I expressed that I would talk to his Dr. at the next appointment but I would really like to try other strategies before increasing his medicine. 

She wrote back that she would give that a try, talked about how much she enjoys Ryley, and that the problems is that he finishes his work before everyone else and then he is a distraction for those trying to finish. 

 The conference ended in unproductive conflict, but sending the email with an apology and a compromise helped to turn it into something productive.