Adjourning week 6

Adjourning phase was difficult when I left Lawrence Co. Head Start the first time.  I was getting married and moving five hours away to Cleveland. The center that i worked at had a celebration for me.  I received cards, flowers, a carry in lunch. Everyone congratulated me, and also expressed that I would be missed I had other teaching positions before, but this is where I grew and matured as a teacher. We were a three star center( the highest award at the time in Ohio), just passed the Head Start federal review with flying colors, and was NAEYC accredited.  It was here that I learned what high quality, collaboration, etc. looks like. Leaving was difficult, but what is even more difficult is that no place that I have worked at since measures up.  No other place has the feel of community, working together for the good of the children we serve, staff wanting to do their best, and wanting to learn more.  We had high expectations, yet, if you struggled someone would help you without devaluing you.  I have missed this. As I think of opening my own center, I want to have this feeling of acceptance, collaboration, comradely, and high quality.

As I think of adjourning from this group, I feel the need to find a few of you all on facebook. I think having each other to bounce ideas off of would be a great idea. I also would like to see how everyone is doing.
Adjouring is important because we have to move forward to grow. We all will have new batons to carry and hand off to the next runner.

Overcoming Disagreements wk 5

My son Ryley is 7 and in second grade. He was diagnosed with ADHD in kindergarten.  Even with medicine for his ADHD, he still struggles with sitting still. His test scores shows him being two years ahead of his classmates. I always question how much of his behavior is ADHD and how much is it because he is bored.   His teachers typically push for more and more medicine so he will sit still and quiet at school. I hate to have him on so high of a dose that he is zombified.  His teacher this year had him test for giftiness, and he qualified for the program for math and reading.  He has a gifted teacher that works with him on Mondays.  I thought things were going well, and excited to not have to have his medicine constantly adjusted. 

Parent-teacher conferences were this past week. His general education teacher said that he was acting out again and suggested to have his medicine readjusted. His gifted teacher said that she had no problems with him at all and is amazed at how he persists at a problem. I asked his gen ed teacher if he was being challenged enough. I did not mean for it to be condescending, but I think that is how she took it. She started to defend herself. I apologized, and stated that I think he gets bored because the work is too easy and he acts out.  The conference did not end well.

After a few days I emailed her an apology and tried to explain that I understood he was a challenging student to deal with. I also explained about how I did not think that constantly upping his medicine was a good idea as he does not learn how to control his impulses this way. I brought up how the gifted teacher says that she does not see those behaviors when she has him and suggested if there was a way for the two of them to collaborate and to have more challenging work on hand for Ryley to do when he finishes his regular work. I expressed that I would talk to his Dr. at the next appointment but I would really like to try other strategies before increasing his medicine. 

She wrote back that she would give that a try, talked about how much she enjoys Ryley, and that the problems is that he finishes his work before everyone else and then he is a distraction for those trying to finish. 

 The conference ended in unproductive conflict, but sending the email with an apology and a compromise helped to turn it into something productive. 

Who am I as a communicator?

For this assignment I had my husband and my best friend, Maria complete the communication assessments. The biggest surprise for me was that my husband, Tim, scored me a 65 on verbal aggressiveness. Maria scored me at 40 and I scored myself at 58. I  think the reason for this is that Tim sees me at my worst. This brought up some conversation about some things that I did not realize that I do and say when we have an argument.  Maria and I only get together 1-2 times a month, and it is usually a happy time with a ton of laughter. It would be interesting to see how a co-worker would evaluate me, something I might try another day.
Another interesting insight was that all three had my listening style as people oriented.  All three of us scored me at a 35 for this one.  I am hoping that means I have good listening skills.

Communicating Differently

I am currently a stay at home mom, and when I first read the instructions for this assignment, my thoughts were, I don't communicate with anyone outside of the family, how in the world am I going to complete this assignment. As I went through the week I started to pay attention to every interaction that I had, from the cashier at the grocery store, church events, and the community center that I volunteer at.
I found myself communicating in slightly different ways in each of these settings through the culture of all are very similar.  At the grocery store, the conversation is the same, no matter the race or age of the person. It's hi, did you find everything, have a nice day, etc.  I thought of doing an experiment of giving a not typical answer just to see what happens, but then I had the flu and did not get to go on my third trip of the week. 
Due to the flu, I also missed going to church Wed. night, and I did not volunteer on Thurs. at the community center.  I thought back to my interacts at those places.  At church, I am on my best behavior and trying to teach of anywhere between 8-20 preschoolers.  My communication reflects that.
At the community center, I identify more with the people coming in for assistance than I do the people I volunteer with. I know what it is like to be in their shoes and my communication reflects that.  I think here is the place that I use the communication skills that we have been talking about the most.  The Platinum Rule works well here along with compassion, kindness, and empathy.

Communication on TV

 I have had several friends tell me that I need to watch The Crown on Netflix so I used this as an opportunity to do just that.  Before I started watching it,  all  I knew was that this was the story of how Queen Elizabeth came to power. 
I was very confused at first watching it without sound and knowing very little about the show. It started out with Phillip being knighted and then kissing Elizabeth. As I watched it, her body language looked like she did not want to be kissed. At their wedding, she appeared to not want to marry him which made me google if she had an arranged marriage.  She was very stiff, looked down, and back at her father multiple times. I thought she was going to run at one point.   After I watched it with the sound I found out that she did want to marry him, but no one approved of their marriage.  I am guessing that is what lead to the stiff awkward body movements.
Through out the show the King keeps spiting up blood and I could tell that he was going to die. He had surgery, and talked with the Dr. and he cried. I was right about this part, but I was wrong because I thought that he had told Philip as they were duck hunting that he was dying, but he did not. He hinted at it by telling Philip he needs to give up his career to take care of "her." 
I found it odd that Princess Elizabeth is often referred to as "her" through out the show.  I think I may have to continue to watch it to see why.
I think if I had did this with a show that I watch such as, "This is Us," I probably would have done a better job at guessing what was going on.  This is because I know the characters, how they generally handle things and I know the plot.  All of this information makes guessing at what is being communicated easier. 

Reference
Morgan, Peter. (writer), & Daldry, S. (director). (2016). Wolferton Splash. [Netflix series Episode].In Daldry, S. (Producer). The Crown. United Kingdom: Netflix.

Communication Skills

My husband is Senior Lead Quality Assurance. Basically, he leads a team that tests software before he goes on the market.   He works from home a few days a week and has frequent conference calls during these days.  I often listen as he can take a call that is utter chaos as people are blaming each other for the reason why a product does not work and turn the conversation into something productive with everyone taking a part to get the project done. I often ask him "how do you do that?"  His response is "you just have to know how to get each person to do what you want them to do and be happy about it."  I think that is not easy, I can't do that.  I would love to be able to lead a team the way that he can as far as getting people to listen and do what needs to be done.  He doesn't raise his voice, he just says we have a problem and how are we going to fix it.  He hears everyone's ideas and the team states which one is best or often a combination of answers. People then volunteer to take different parts and work on it. 
I want to model some of my communication like him. He knows each person on his team, what they are good at, and what words to use to motivate them.   He gives each person time to talk and the team as a whole makes the decision and he guides it to the answer he wants without them realizing it.  Each person feels valued and important which is what makes him a great team leader.

Professional Hopes and Goals

My vision is to open a high quality child care where children and families from all abilities, socio-economic group, race, religion, and any background can come and know that their child is being well taken care of by a quality staff who will not only work on academic with their child but all aspects of development. This is greatly lacking in my small community. As a mother of a child with ADHD and one with autism my kids have been kicked out of varies center all because the staff does not know what to do with them nor are they willing to learn.
I hope that with the center that I will open that parents and staff from diverse background will work together to provide the best possible care for all the children in our community. I want to show our community what can be accomplished when we all work together and do not settle for mediocre.
I would like to see the entire early childhood community come together and work on how train and support staff and families related to issues of diversity, equity, and social justice.  I would also like to see a curriculum made to help staff with how to teach these issue to young children. 
Thank you to all my colleagues for continue to challenge, and grow my worldview. I wish you all the best of luck and hope to work with you all again. I know that we will help to shape and change the field one child/family at a time.